Today, someone is pushing you to your limit and your security systems are being breached. Your belief that love is supposed to hurt is causing you to equate fairness with submission. Express how you feel. Let someone engage in your mind games.
Don't play mind games alone, or at least don't get caught in the act. Remember: you don't have to affirm a new love by discrediting all the ones that came before it.
Only I know what is worth it. Remind myself to not undersell, to stand on your own two feet: it's empowering. And yet: don't be a puppetmaster. Chess moves are actions of a dictator.